Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Dress

First things first , of course.  What can be more important to the bride than the perfect dress.  Heather knew one thing for sure…..the color.  Pale pink.  And from there it was the old “I’ll know it when I see it” thing.  So we knew that we probably wouldn’t find anything ready made.  It’s never been that easy with my daughter!  But….she assured me, her mother in-law to be would be making the dress.  This was a great relief to me because there would be so many other details to take care of, and although I do sew, I don’t feel confident about making “the” dress.   And our budget did not allow for a seamstress.

So…..we look, we search, through magazines, and on-line assuming that we will probably have to kind of design or combine patterns to make “the perfect” dress.

I finally wised up, and went straight to the pattern companies (duh) and found a couple of  possibilities.


This one from McCall's, with the over-lay.


And this one, from Vogue patterns.

Heather and I are  fortunate to be able to work as a “team” so well together!  I called her and said “I found two that I love!”  And that was that!

She choose…….the second one!  She loved everything about it! 

So Heather said she would e-mail her mother in-law to be the picture.


Now…..just stick with me here.  This is where the story gets reallllly interesting!

The next day was the anniversary of a really traumatic event in our family.  However, I woke up that morning with a GREAT attitude.  I started thinking about how this event had changed me as a person.  How I was so much nicer than I used to be.  How I was so much less judgmental of people than I used to be.  Why, by the time I was through patting myself on the back and thinking all about what a great person I had become, I had subconsciously assumed the position of someone between a Disney character and Mother Theresa!

So I got up that day and proceeded to spread joy and good cheer everywhere I went.  I’m sure I had an invisible shiny gold halo on my head, little blue birds sitting on my shoulder singing happy songs, and flowers and glitter trailing behind me everywhere I went!

This went on all day.  Although I DID go shopping, I was such a good good person, that I only made WISE  purchases.  Like a $2.00 shower curtain from Goodwill.  And although I did go to T.J. Maxx, all I purchased there were new sheets for my bed.  Which we desperately needed. 

So later that evening, I’m still patting myself on the back, and thinking happy thoughts and I get a phone call.

From Heather.

Who proceeds to tell me……………

Mother in-law to be……..refuses to make “the dress.”

“SHE WHAT?”  I say.   “WHY?”

Because…….Heather says  IT’S TOO LOW CUT!

My halo begins to slip.  My little blue birds back off and say “ah oh.”  And the flowers begin to wilt and wither.  But I’m trying really really hard to hold on.  I say “that’s just so silly it’s funny.”  So we have our conversation and hang up.

Then I REALLY start to think.

I could have SWORN that my daughter was 35 years old and capable of making her own decisions.

I didn’t know whether to be more P.O.’d at the position this put me in with who would make this dress.  OR more P.O.’d that I’m pretty sure my daughter had just been told she’s a SLUT!

My halo fell off.  It went rolling out the front door and down the street.  My blue birds deserted me for greener pastures.  The flowers disappeared in a poof of ash.  The glitter turned to dust.

I was livid!!!

Apparently this woman thought we had found this pattern at the “Sluts R Us”  pattern company.  Maybe on the same page as the naughty French maid costume pattern! 


So now, I’m not sure what we’ll do.  Even if I did feel confident enough to tackle this,  I don’t own a serger.  And I really think these seams need to be serged.  Especially with a sheer overlay.  We’ll figure it out though.

Oh…..and if you happen to see a tarnished gold halo rolling down the road, consider it yours!

In the meantime…..I’m on the lookout for a really really low cut dress to wear to this wedding.  Bruhahahaha!  I’m BAACCK! 





  1. Denise, you are too funny! Decollete' all the way! xo, suzy

  2. What a fun style of writing. I follow a number of blogs but I seldom read all of the print. Yikes. I know that sounds awful. I write in my blog too and I would like to think somebody found what I was saying just the least bit interesting. Anyway, I digress. I read the whole post. Like you and your daughter, I think the dress is gorgeous and really not in the least bit scandaleous. The MIL sounds like trouble. I did find myself wondering if she reads your blog. Whatever. She needs a reality intervention. And I don't think you lost your halo. Maybe it just slid back into your hoodie.

  3. I'm cracking up here over this post! For many reasons but one in particular....when I first looked at the dresses I thought to myself, "I like the second one. It's elegant but looks contemporary too. Very pretty". Then I read the rest of the post and realized, "oh my, I'm a bad girl too"! :)
    Another thing that caught my eye here is your daughter is 35?! You don't look like the mother of a 35 year old! I would like the secrets to your youthful look, please!
    Oh, and I am dying over the comment about you shopping for a really, really, low cut dress! Ha!

    You may not have to serge the dress. You could probably get away with just trimming the inside seams close to the stitching. The hem looks like it is probably a 1/4" hem. Good Luck!

  4. i hope MIL doesn't read your blog lol
    Denise... I found your little halo, but it was so bent out of shape that I threw it into the river lol
    I was starting to feel "the love", and then I kept reading. Now I would also go with the McCall's, as long as my daughter has perky breasts and felt totally confidant. I think Heather does. I LOVE IT.
    I'll be on the lookout. Gee I had 3 sergers. I would have gladly given you one....I hate sewing.
    LOVE YOUR MUSIC. Michael Buble just sang for me thanks ahhhhhh
    Have a great week, stay positive.

  5. I, on the other hand, hope that the MIL does read your post! Are you serious? Too low cut! Amazing!! Well I just know that you two will figure this out and she will have one fabulous dress!!! Low cut and all!! You go girls! Oh! I did see that halo rolling by and I just let it go. Maybe someone down the way will pick it up. Me? Well I know better than to try it out. Never works for me. BWAHHHHHH!!!

  6. Oh the I wonder if the MIL to be reads your blog?? She'll have a fit!
    I love the dress at the very top-left of the pictures....pretty and romantic. I'm sure whatever Heather comes up with will be magical~
    Keep us posted.


  7. Oh my! That is hilarious. I'm thinking refusing to sew the wedding dress because it doesn't meet up to her standards is not a really good way to be starting off. Besides, the ruffle makes it oh so elegant and I don't see anything risque about it at all. I am sure it will all work out and Heather will get the dress of her dreams, one way or another. It is her wedding -- why does everyone want to always have a say? Hope that today is a better day and that birds are singing again. :) Blessings, tammy

  8. That is the funniest blog entry I have read in a very long time. Heather will look beautiful in that dress! It reminded me of a quote from Judy Garland "always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else." Sounds like future MIL needs to remember whose wedding this is. Keep us posted, Paula

  9. Aaaarghh!!!!! That's me falling off my chair rolling with laughter! I love the way you write. So very entertaining and I can totally picture the scene! I wish I had some great words of wisdom. I'm sure you guys will all work it out. The dress is totally beautiful and not at all "risque" MIL needs to come into the 21st century!


    My Desert Cottage

  10. Muahahahahaaa Welcome back...sorry couldn't resist lol Lordy but you had me rollin and tis not a pretty sight or sound at almost 1 am lol btw I found your tarnished gold halo...and I promptly proceeded to kick it to the curb...cause what fun is life without being able to take it by the horns err sewing machine every now and then :)you know all I could think of is that at my one from my husbands family showed up...s'ok 21 years later...who's doin the rump shaker now :) Besos, Rose
    Ps..your daughter will be just fine...look at the class act she came from :) the lucky girl!

  11. hi try this for a plan B. we ordered my daughters dress from here. she was able to customize it to her wants. shape from one sleeves from another embroidery from yet another. for a 1/3 of the cost of Bridal store.
    Ps:Some low cut mother dresses to.


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